So I realized today I need new content on my blog, it has been sooo long! I have a ton of excuses too- REALLY good ones;)
I haven’t posted since last summer & I should’ve posted more… what kept me so busy/ tired? In May I underwent a much needed jaw surgery that kept my mouth wired shut for a few months (I had a weird bone growth that need fixed that’s a whole other story!!). I kept up with my weddings and seniors a few months after and really exhausted myself. Then I started to feel a NEW kind of tired, especially right after this senior I’m about to show you. I thought what is wrong with me? I’m sleepy everyday, I’m tender, feel like I need to puke, don’t want anything to do with eggs or raw meat….. yup I was PREGNANT. Didn’t find out officially till September- surprise for me! My last two pregnancies were in my 20’s and I’m not sure I was as tired with those as I was this time. This fall I had to take a huge nap everyday- then when I’d go to sit at my computer I’d only get an hour or so in of work before I had to get my kids form school. Then in the winter my computer had to go to the doctor for a while and I just had to wait. I ended up having to reset it and reload all my programs all over again!!
Now just in my third trimester I’m feeling much better now, in fact – I had a great day today. It actually started with last night, I saw on Instagram Pastor Levi Lusko of Fresh Life Church’s sermon all about starting your day off right (in case you want some inspiration check out www.Freshlife.church)
So I had some ‘get up in go’ this AM, Took kids to the bus, had a nice breakfast…………… did some light treadmill, watched an Amazon Prime ‘Life of Tebow’ (or something like that). While I waddled very slowly at a slight incline, I realized I’ve come pretty far from the ex-track runner I used to be – I definitely couldn’t run fast enough to save my life right now but I heard a good message. God ‘talked’ to me through this Tebow show, just like Tim my life had it’s undeserved grace/a bit of glory in the sports world and it was over so quickly. Honestly, I’ve always struggled since then with life in general- Who am I? Nothing too bad, I;ve always found happiness where I’m at- don’t want to sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself- I’ve been so blessed! However now, I can see the hardships and count them as joy easier than before. That’s the big change. Right at the beginning of the documentary Kurt Warner asked Tebow of his favorite scripture- It happened to be one I’d always write on my track shoes, Phillipians 4:13. Back then in from my High school career at Conrad High School all the way to my last year running for the Montana Grizzlies- I TOOK THIS SCRIPTURE THE WRONG WAY. Not till a few years ago while frequently going to Beth Moore Bible Studies at Pondera Vallery Lutheran Church did I figure out what it meant- and it meant so much more to me. It is my fav scripture for my life, this is what it says:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Phil 4:13
Back in High School/ College what this meant to me was – that if I tried hard enough, if I trusted in God enough he’d get me there…and he did, for a while… only He did. I had nothing to do with it- I achieved most every goal I set off for- I thanked God…. but what started to happen after college was no matter what I did, how hard I tried or prayed- there where things I didn’t get. Instead I felt a lot of loneliness, I felt unimportant to those around me, I had little financial freedom, I was isolated physically and mentally, I had not a lot of free time with my new husband who continued to work countless hours on his Dad’s cattle ranch and was taking care of a new little baby virtually alone…tough stuff.
I’VE LEARNED NOW that God strengthens you to overcome the hard things, you can handle all things cause HE will handle them for you– it has little to do with your successes and much to do with being happy with what you have, (though God loves seeing us succeed because he delights in us.) So the main take away is this:
… to be content with whatever circumstances- I’m just as happy with little as with much, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have what ever I am, I can make it through anything through GOD…- Phil 4:13 MSG version
Didn’t expect to write this much but I hope this reaches someone out there who needs to hear this – HAVE YOU HAD STRUGGLES LATELY? Doing Beth Moore studies, watching the Fresh Life Church app & devoting my day to work it what helped me.
Please enjoy these pics of Brianna, she’s a doll- I had fun but I did totally barf this day…LOL. (My computer only is letting me show a few… download issues!) Oh well 🙂 Back to work for the rest of the day 🙂